There is constant worry and guilt – are you spending enough time with them, how can you fit in the time for doctors’ appointments, phone calls, helping with little chores……dealing with other family members. So often we lose ourselves in the chaos of helping others. This is normal, and you are not alone!
If you have reached the time when some difficult decisions and conversations are needed, about downsizing, assisted living, long-term care….the emotional pressure to make the right decisions is exhausting.
Challenging as it may be, especially if your parents’ are refusing to accept the best possible choice for them, you know you still have to make that decision. Sometimes the other members of the family have different opinions than you do, which adds further to the confusion, frustration and stress.
It’s very important, especially if your parents are still healthy and active, to have these conversations now, and make some plans for their future, and yours. If you can all work together sooner, rather than when it has become an emergency situation, it will be easier for all concerned. Your parents still want to feel in control of their own lives, and so they should!
Be sure that the people who are helping them are professional, qualified, caring and well trained. They are valuable resources that should not be overlooked. Remember, you get what you pay for! Beware of people who “just want to help” or who “dabble” in estates. Get the BEST professionals; they are worth their weight in gold.
Remember to make notes, document conversations, ask questions, get more than one opinion, and ask for references! And remember, you are not alone!
Article by Val Matheson of 2 Places and Once Kelowna.
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